How Illegal Is This? Citrus County Speedway
Could someone please tell us how illegal it is to take your own car down the Citrus County Speedway?
Only in Citrus County.
Citrus County Cop Slams Into Helpless Lady
Wow. Sometimes, that’s really all I can say…
Yesterday, I left my cell phone at home when I went to work. That NEVER happens!
On my way home from work, I saw a police office run a red light and slam into the side of a helpless woman. He hit her so hard that his license plate was actually embedded into the side of her car!
I had to jump out of my car and run into the gas station to grab a disposable camera – sorry for the poor shots, all they had was an underwater camera LOL
This is Joe. How do you spell that? D-u-m-b-a-s-s.
If they can't read, they certainly shouldn't be driving a police cruiser and carrying a gun.
Yeah, that's Joe's front license plate. I'm pretty sure it's never coming out.
It's custom.
Why Does This Stuff Happen to Us?? Found Cell Phone, Guy Looking for Prostitute
I still don’t understand why this stuff happens to Red and I. It’s so crazy, but oh well, it gives us something to write about and entertain your bored behinds.
So, Red was cruising down the street, and he sees a BlackBerry Curve case on the side of the road. (No, he doesn’t normally stop to pick up trash on the side of the road, but I have a BlackBerry Curve so he noticed it right away.)
Anyways, if you read this blog enough, you know that Red and I have a knack for helping people. We always seem to be at the right time and the right place. This was no difference – he nabbed this phone and drove home. Immediately after getting home, he searched through the contacts to find someone to call so that we could give the phone back.
He called the listing for, “Mom”, and spoke to an older woman who was desperate to get the phone back.
Well, I came home from work, and of course, I couldn’t give this phone back without first going through it and looking for something interesting to put on the website. WE FOUND IT, and it was better than we could imagine!
In the inbox for emails, there was nothing except for this (names changed to protect the not-so-innocent):
On Mon, Feb 8, 2010 at 7:14 PM, Joe D-u-m-b-a-s-s wrote:
** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY — AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY
** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html
Trisha, my name is Joe D-u-m-b-a-s-s age 54…Do I qualify…if so please respond and see what we can do
http://tampa.craigslist.org/psc/cas/1592072424.html
this message was remailed to you via: pers-yjszn-1592072424@craigslist.org
Hi sweetie…I’m so glad to see that you’re interested in me!Here are some pics… Be sure to tell me what you think, and maybe we can set something up for tonight… ;0)$$ xoxoxoxoxoLove Trisha
On Mon, Feb 8, 2010 at 7:14 PM, James Black wrote:
** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY — AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY
** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html
Trisha, my name is Michael age 54…Do I qualify…if so please respond and see what we can do
http://tampa.craigslist.org/psc/cas/1592072424.html
this message was remailed to you via: pers-yjszn-1592072424@craigslist.org
Hi sweetie…I’m so glad to see that you’re interested in me!Here are some pics… Be sure to tell me what you think, and maybe we can set something up for tonight… ;0)$$$ xoxoxoxoxoLove Trisha
I didn’t change the prostitute’s name. I thought she might want some advertising 
Did you notice the three dollar signs in her reply? Yes, she absolutely wants money, Mr. Joe, you 54-year-old scary man!
Wow… Only in Citrus County.
Joe's Phone Used to Contact Prostitutes
How I Shot Out My Window After Picking Up Two Hitch Hikers
Hi, guys,
Yeah, I thought you might like that title. Here’s the story.
Red and I were going camping with our girlfriends on Friday night. It was cold and a bit rainy, but we had all decided that we were going to go regardless of the sucky weather. We traveled to our campsite, set up our tent, cooked some food, and did the normal camping thing. It all started out so normal.
Well, around 11:30 PM, we ended up running out of smokes, so the girls had Red and I run up to the nearest gas station which was about 5 or 10 minutes away. It was pretty busy for this time of night, but we thought nothing of it. We ended up buying our smokes and walking out to the car.
There was a black guy sitting in an SUV when we walked out. He was in the passenger seat and must have noticed how sketchy Red and I looked. He says, “Yo, cracka, wanna buy some snow?”
I paused for a moment, and then remembered that we’re in Florida, and although it might be cold, there is definitely no snow to be bought. I then realized that this black man was not in any way suggesting that we buy a form of precipitation from him.
We declined (though it might have made the night less cold), and went on our way. On the way out of the gas station, we realized that we had left our lighter at the campsite, and we asked two fellers who were standing around the gas station if they had a lighter. Sure enough, they did, and they were kind enough to give us a light.
With lit cigarettes and about to drive away, the older of the two says, “Hey, can we get a ride up to the check cashing place?”
C’mon, guys, you know what happens next! I had my gun hidden between the driver’s seat and the center console, and I reached down to take it off safety. These two guys were sketchy. After being asked if I had wanted to buy “snow” about 30 seconds before I met these guys, I was really nervous.
We brought them about 5 minutes down the road to get their checks cashed, and we had a great time - all was well. They asked for a ride home, and since Red and I had decided that these two probably were not all that scary after all, we agreed. They went inside, and I reached down to put my gun back on safety.
I grabbed the gun, and BANG! It went off, right out the front windsheild. Thankfully, Red was in the back seat, and so he wasn’t in the line of fire. The two hitch hikers looked outside with a priceless look on their face, and I took off back to the campsite. No one got hurt, but Red has taken up calling me by a new nickname. Joe.
How do you spell that?
Only in Citrus County.
Only In Citrus County can you get away with murder... of a windsheild.
Citrus County Fire Department Buys New Fire Truck
Well, I’m not entirely sure if they’ve bought one yet, but apparently, they’re going to have to!
The driver’s name was Joe. Want to know how he spells it? “D-u-m-b-a-s-s.”
Only in Citrus County!
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