Only In Citrus County, Florida

Could someone please tell us how illegal it is to take your own car down the Citrus County Speedway?

Only in Citrus County.

It’s been a while since I’ve had anything worthy of posting, but I assure you, this is.

Red and I were just leaving the movie theater at about 12:30AM (there are other stories about this, but we’ll get to that in another post!), and we saw two police cruisers with their blues flashing sitting behind an SUV in the Taco Bell parking lot on route 19.  The lady was out of her car, and she was clearly being given a DUI check. Do you know what the term DUI means?  Driving under the influence.

Although we both HATE Toxic Hell (our name for Taco Bell) more than anything, we decided to roll through the drive through with our video cameras in an attempt to grab a couple $0.99 tacos and a couple of videos for OnlyinCitrusCounty.com.  Watching a perfect stranger get arrested for a DUI was MUCH more fun than our trip to the Crystal River mall to see Legion. We were in for a real treat!

We got our tacos, parked in a spot where we could watch and listen inconspicuously, and rolled down the windows to begin our reconnaissance mission.  Of course, things just can’t go as planned, can they?

To our morbid disappointment, we heard one of the officers offer her a break – a chance away from the slammer.  “Ma’am, do you have anyone you can call to come pick you up? You ain’t leavin’ here tonight in that car – it’s either handcuffs or jail for you, and jail will be a $13,000 fine.”  These two cops just didn’t want to do the paperwork – they were going to let her go!

She walked over to her car and grabbed her phone, but we all soon realized she had no one to call. Now, those of you who know me, know that I love two things; cops, and getting myself into sticky situations that I should never have been in.  So what do I do? Let one of her drunk friends come pick her up? Absolutely not!

I get out of the car, walk over to her and the two police officers, and announce heroically, “I’ll give you a ride home.” BAM! There it was, I laid it all out. It’s OK to cry, folks, you would have done it for me too.  I felt like Batman – instead of Gotham City, I was protecting Citrus County!

But, she wasn’t happy.  “What, are you on crack?!” she yelled at me.  Darn, I didn’t see things going down like that – total rejection – so I walked backwards in an attempt to save face.  I slunk back to the car satisfied that at the very least, I tried to get involved and make Citrus County a better place.

After getting in the car and laughing with Red, we overheard the happy trio mentioning us again, and pointed over at the car.  Things were looking up – she was choosing to get in our car instead of their car!

She got in the car and started yelling, “Who are you, who are you guys?” She was smashed!

Oh well, we brought her out to the Buzz bar, had a couple drinks, and went home satisfied with another interested night with Silly Rednecks and Citrus County Cops.

Here are some fun videos we took that night.

So, I was sitting in traffic on route 75, minding my own business, while reading a book.  Yes, I know, having my nose in a book while I was technically “driving” is pretty random, it goes to show you exactly how bad the traffic was backed up.  I was stuck, not moving, for over 20 minutes. Didn’t move an inch.

All around me, there were people getting out of their cars, looking all around, and trying to figure out what to do.  Like Florida red ants, they all were getting out of their cars getting angrier and angrier about the traffic. I decided to put the book down and join them outside their cars to a little light chit chat.

Suddenly, a guy in a pickup truck two cars in front of me decides he’s had enough.

There was an on-ramp about 4 car lengths ahead of me, and Joe (I don’t really know his name, but Joe is a pretty big dumbass name), decides he’s going to put the petal to the metal and spin his tires in anger towards the on-ramp.  He’s going to show everyone just how tough he is by going the WRONG way down an on-ramp and escape from this traffic jam!

Great idea Joe!  You just didn’t happen to think, “Hmm, what if a police officer with his big blue emergency lights and siren blaring comes screaming at high speed the RIGHT way down the on-ramp and slams into me while I’m going the wrong way?”

Only in Citrus County.  The laughable images are below.  (Do I tag this in “Citrus County Cops” or “Silly Rednecks?”  Hmmm… both!)

Joe decided to be smart. Who even crashes into a cop?

Joe was totally an idiot.